Location, Location, Location
Gayle Bartos-Pool
In many novels and even short stories, location
acts almost like a character. A great setting
sets the stage for greater challenges whether
it be physical places (Mt. Rushmore/North
by Northwest), climatic as in climate (hurricanes/Key
Largo or Herman Wouk's Don't Stop the Carnival),
or the local natives (from Tarzan's Africa
to the characters on Hollywood Blvd.)
For a short story, pick an easily understood
setting because it needs less description;
a dilapidated factory vs. a giant industrial
firm making computer components for the military
weapons used in…. If you get too technical,
you will lose your audience and use up your
word limit.
Get most of your facts right about places
you only visit on the Internet; some readers
are finicky about accurate descriptions of
locales. If in doubt, fictionalize your locale.
All the research you do will change your
perception of that area even though you won't
use every bit of information that you discover.
But your understanding of a region will color
the entire story whether it is the incessant
rain, blistering heat or rugged rocks.
Description of settings can educate the reader,
but don't get too detailed. Too much description
stops the action. Some settings act as a
general background. A short description such
as: the local pub, conjures up a picture
in the reader's mind so you don't have to
go into elaborate detail. Some word pictures
set the era and mood like the longer descriptions
used by Anne Perry in her description of
Queen Victoria's England. The type of book
and the mood you want to achieve should dictate
the length of your descriptions.
Setting denotes the background of the character
living there. A person living in a penthouse
and running a huge corporation has a different
outlook on life than does a guy living in
a garage apartment working in a filling station.
Whether you are describing a residence or
a business, a character from one economic
background will view the same setting through
his or her own eyes. Where one person sees
an efficient, profitable corporation, another
will see it as a greedy, industrial monolith.
Setting also tells us how much time has passed
(After two days a thick layer of dust covered
every surface.)
If your story gets bogged down with too much
description and it starts sounding like that
travel log, describe those locations through
dialogue. It will set the scene and add information
from a particular character's POV, so you
not only see the surroundings, but you know
how that character feels about it. Different
characters can view settings differently
depending on his or her personal perspective.
(A woman in love can smell the flowers in
the park, while her friend who just lost
her job can see the wad of gum on the sidewalk.)
Use descriptions (sight, sound, smell) of
locations to evoke an emotion, reaction,
or establish mood. (A scummy swimming pool
tells the reader the motel is seedy.) Setting
can also take reader into another world (Tony
Hillerman's Indian reservation, Dick Francis's
racetrack.)
Remember "Chekov's Gun" story.
Don't put something in a scene if it's not
going to be used. "One must not put
a loaded rifle on the stage if no one is
thinking of firing it." (Anton Chekov
1889.) This tactic was used constantly in
Murder, She Wrote. The camera always zoomed
in on the "clue" about eight minutes
into the show. During the last seven minutes
Jessica Fletcher would recall that "clue"
and solve the case. You always knew that
clue would make a reappearance before the
final credits rolled. The "clue"
was part of the setting.
Treat your locations like a character. They
have a lot to say.
________________________________________________________________________________________
Dialogue - The Workhorse of the Story
By Gayle Bartos-Pool
Dialogue is the workhorse of the novel, short
story, and screenplay. Even Silent Movies
had dialogue.
Dialogue performs several functions. It provides:
Character Development; Plot Advancement,
and Action or Movement.
In other words: It brings the story to life.
Dialogue Enhances (Describes) the Character
- How a character speaks and acts says a
lot more about him or her than just the words.
Dialogue tells the place of birth, type of
education, her temperament, his soul. Speech
patterns denote character just as costumes
do for an actor whether it's a stammer or
a dialect.
"Honey, somethin's happened to yer livin'
room. Did ya'll get another dawg?"
Dialogue Advances the Plot - and Provides
Pacing - Good dialogue always adds something
to the plot, whether it builds tension, relieves
tension, imparts needed information to the
other characters (and the reader), animates
the story, thus moving it along; or even
slows down the pace when you need a breather.
"Why'd you get out of the fund?"
"Frankly, I was scared. They played
too rough."
"They?" That got my attention.
"Who's they? Does Racine have a partner?"
Dialogue provides real time action. You are
in the room with the characters as they speak.
You are eavesdropping or right in the middle
of the conversation. Or the character might
be speaking directly to you. And dueling
dialogue between opposing characters brings
the reader right into the action. But note:
as the argument gets more heated, the length
of the sentences gets shorter.
"I never loved my wife!"
"Did you kill her?"
"No!"
Dialogue gets you Up-Close and Personal -
Provides Tone and Mood while it brings the
reader into the story. - How the words are
delivered sets the verbal stage on which
the scene is set; a whisper denotes mood
just like a rant.
I lowered my voice before asking her my next
question. "Do you outrank him?"
"No, I sleep with him," Trin whispered.
Remember: A character blurting out information
that advances the plot is far more interesting
than a long narrative description. But note:
Dialogue is the illusion of conversation.
In order to know how a character speaks or
acts, or even the words he uses, you must
get to know your characters…intimately.
First, make the characters seem real to you
as well as to your readers. Let them speak
to you and trust them. Most writers will
tell you they actually "hear" their
characters, and it is that particular "voice"
that makes a character unique.
Archie Wright's the name. Dishing dirt's
the game. My sandbox: Hollywood. The most
glamorous and glitzy, vicious, and venomous
playground in the world. If you come for
a visit, bring your sunscreen and your shark
repellant.
Make a character sound different from the
other characters with him by adding: a dialect
or a foreign accent or words to denote an
education or lack thereof. Add rhythm to
their speech to show how the person is thinking
at the time: hesitation vs. rapid-fire. Word
choice might show a character's education
level, but keep it consistent; a drugged
out biker probably won't quote Shakespeare,
but a professor in prison might quote Hamlet.
Speech should: Move the plot along by telling
us something about the character; convey
information about the plot; add to the mood;
change the POV to get another character's
side; and add to the reality of the piece.
Just make sure somebody (a character or the
reader) learns something new during any conversation.
But if something is conspicuously held back,
make sure it is found in the next chapter
or at least by the end of the story.
If there is no purpose to the dialogue, rewrite
it or dump it.
"Larry and I didn't have children. We
had two 'vipers' instead, just to be different.
And to tell you the truth, if they didn't
kill their father, they hired someone to
do it. But their funds are limited now. They'll
have to do the deed themselves."
Language & Body Language
Simple gestures describe the characters more
fully than words alone. Instead of: "Go
ahead. Date my ex-wife!" he shouted.
Try: "Go ahead. Date my ex-wife,"
he said while slamming his fist into the
wall.
Body language or Stage Business Helps Dialogue.
"I love you," he said.
She blew smoke in his face. "How nice."
Instead of a constant stream of he said/she
said, use stage directions to show how someone
is reacting while talking.
"I'm crazy about you, too," she
said, looking at her watch.
Internal monologue can shake things up.
I couldn't believe they found Brad's body.
I thought I buried him deeper.
Things to Avoid:
Expository dialogue: "As you know, Fred…"
Pleasantries: "Hello. Nice weather we're
having."
Long speeches - Unless you're Shakespeare;
less is always more in dialogue.
Adverbial action tags like: "I loathe
you," she said fiercely. - can be replaced
with action: "I loathe you," she
said, grinding her cigarette into the back
of his hand. "Have a nice day."
Instead of: he said gravely. Try: with his
head bowed he said...
Sometimes what the character doesn't say
is important: "I knew you wouldn't care
if I left you," he said. She bit her
lip.
Keep you, the writer, out of the piece. Don't
let your thoughts get tangled with those
of your characters.
Write a biography of your main characters,
whether it's a paragraph or a page, describe
who they are, where they came from, their
background. Where a character was "born,"
went to school, and his neighborhood will
dictate his speech pattern, whether it's
a Southern drawl, a French accent, or a gangsta
rapper from the 'hood.'
If you are having difficulty, start with
a "stock character" straight from
central casting. If you want a villain, pick
a character from some old movie, like Edward
G. Robinson, and than mold him into your
own creation. You can always find a picture
in a magazine that fits the type of person
you want in a particular role. Cut the picture
out and devise a background for him or her.
If you know your characters, you can find
their individual voice, even if the character
isn't human. Dogs, cats and birds have found
their way into great stories.
After you have written your scene, read it
aloud or have someone else read it to you,
or use one of the many software programs
that reads your work back to you. It will
make a huge difference. You will hear things
you didn't know you wrote (both good and
bad) and you will pick up the redundancies
and misused words. And you just might find
out how good you are at writing dialogue.
Let your dialogue work for you. It has a
lot to say.
____________________________________________________________________________
Where Do These Characters Come From?
by Gayle Bartos-Pool
The final version of the character, Gin Caulfield,
the private detective in my current mystery
series, came from reworking clay I had been
painstakingly molding for several years.
But her original incarnation came from something
my husband, Richard, said.
I had been working on a spy trilogy for many
years, but agents and publishers weren't
interested in the ponderously long tomes.
That's when my dear husband uttered the words:
"You used to be a detective. Why don't
you write a detective novel?"
I knew the guy was smart, but he's also brilliant.
So I started writing a series about a former
P.I. who gets back in the business. I fashioned
Ginger after myself, and her husband, Fred,
after Richard. Fred and Ginger were going
to be a modern-day Nick and Nora Charles
eventually (book number three) with Nora
the pro and Nick the seat-of-your-pants type
of detective.
But then I got an agent and she had other
ideas. I wanted Ginger to be "over fifty
and still packing heat." My agent put
on the brakes and said, "No, no, no.
That's too old. Publishers want younger protagonists."
So I hid Ginger's age and continued my rewriting.
Then my agent said she had to have a flaw
or something that makes her edgy. I had her
more of a female Dick Francis character…and
I liked her that way. After all, she was
based on me.
Okay, so I'm a little vanilla. So I rethought
Ginger's personality. First, I started calling
her "Gin." That changed everything.
She was tougher (though I'm an NRA Life Member),
she had attitude (I know every four-letter
word there is, but usually keep that reserved
for private rants), and she was shot in the
back and left for dead a few years before
the opening on the latest book, Hedge Bet.
That last little tidbit set her apart from
me and let her have a life of her own. Now
she can have a little drug dependence in
her past, a dark side every now and then.
It was good for both of us. We will still
consult over a good martini. I didn't come
up with the name "Gin" for nothing.
________________________________________________________________________________
Men vs. Women Writers
by Gayle Bartos-Pool
If someone said: "Nothing against women
writers, but all of my favorite crime fiction
authors happen to be men," how would
you respond?
My response would be the same if I heard
a woman say she preferred women writers to
male ones. Read what you want. Some people
like self-help books. Some like science fiction.
Some like romance. Some people don't read
at all. My response to the latter would be
hand-over-the-mouth screaming to myself:
How can you not read? But, let's face it,
some people don't read.
I can't visualize a truck driver curled up
reading a cozy, but I can see a woman reading
a thriller. Women write thrillers. Men have
written romance novels. But if someone, let's
say a man, says he won't read a book - let's
say a thriller - written by a woman, then
he has a problem living in the real world.
If it's a literary agent or publisher who
says he or she won't consider a thriller
written by a woman then a lot more people
have a problem. Many good writers won't get
published and subsequently enjoyed if that
is the company policy. But it happens.
In the past twenty-five years women writers
have gotten book deals writing cozies and
chic-lit novels as well as standard detective
novels and thrillers. The over-whelming majority
of women writers I know write cozies. The
reading public assumes that if you are female
you will be writing that type of book just
because of the vast number of those types
of books on the shelves. Reviewers are going
to think the same thing. They have seen years
and years of top selling books, written by
men, winning prizes. They will gravitate
toward what is familiar and accepted when
it comes time to reviewing books. Everybody
wants to be around the popular kids in school
or go see the hot new movie. But if our,
meaning the females in the crowd, if our
first response is to whine, then pardon me
for saying this, but snap out of it, honey.
Nobody owes you a review.
But there are things you can try.
Ladies, try sending a review of your book
to women's magazines and see if they will
print it. Send them a copy of the book, too.
You will have to write your own review. This
is basically the Press Release you should
already have in your press kit. Not every
review in a publication is written by an
impartial reviewer. Your review should be
a short blurb about your book. It is roughly
the synopsis you sent in your query letter
minus the conclusion of the book. Include
the log line-elevator pitch that you should
have for every book you write. It will grab
the reader.
I worked in a bookstore for a year and a
half many moons ago (1979-1980). Our romance
section was just as large as our mainline
fiction section. We sold down to the wall
in the romance section most months, not so
for the fiction section. The mystery section
was fairly small at the time. Obviously women
were buying women's books. I don't remember
hearing men whine about only females getting
to write romance novels.
What women should try to do is get known
in a smaller pond first. And remember, you
drop a pebble in a pond and there is a ripple
effect. You make enough splash and the folks
in the big publishing yachts will take notice.
Or even Hollywood.
Some men write Gothic romance novels under
a pseudonym. A man's name on the cover of
a throbbing romance novel would probably
be bad marketing. The same thing goes for
a man's name on a cozy novel, but occasionally
it has been successfully done. Men can be
held back just like women, but many of them
consider the marketing aspect and use a female
pen name.
I use my initials rather than my first name
to obscure my sex. My books aren't cozies
nor are they dripping in blood. I thought
initials made my pen name recognizable but
it didn't put me in a box. Agents and publishers
actually thought a man wrote the Johnny Casino
Casebooks. They read the book before they
read my biography. That's what I wanted.
Know the market where you want to sell the
most books. If you are a niche mystery writer
and write about knitting or cooking while
solving a crime, try sending a copy of your
book with a small review to a publication
that features that hobby or skill. They might
publish it. See if a local store will let
you do a book signing. A knit shop might
let you do an event if you are a local writer.
If you write a more traditional mystery and
can't get any traction, see if your local
paper will run a small review or maybe they
have a reporter who would like to interview
you. Even if you are published by a large
publishing house, you might have to do all
the publicity yourself.
Let me introduce you to Anna Katharine Green.
She started writing very intricate plots
with clever details and sleuthing techniques.
She wrote stories about a young debutante
who solved crimes, a young man who analyzed
a crime scene down to the lint in the victim's
pockets, and a spinster lady who helped out
the local police in solving crimes. If this
sounds a little too much like Nancy Drew
or a young Sherlock Holmes or a Miss Marple,
Anna Katharine Green was born in 1846. Her
books predated these other great writers.
She is considered the mother of the detective
novel. Women weren't writing much more than
poetry back then and there were very few
male writers of fiction, much less mysteries.
She had to discover new territories and did
it unbelievably well. She did get reviews.
In fact, the Pennsylvania Senate debated
whether or not a woman could have actually
have written her first book, The Leavenworth
Case, her first success. She wrote it and
39 more stories.
So write your book. Others did it and overcame
some pretty big hurtles. Be creative in seeking
out reviewers or venues for your work. And
remember, nobody owes you a review, but you
owe it to yourself to give it your best effort.
And don't whine. Men don't.
____________________________________________________________________________
The Loneliest Profession
by Gayle Bartos-Pool
Writing is basically a one-man operation,
unless you write for television or the movies,
where a committee does it. But the traditional
author sits in front of a computer, typewriter,
or a piece of paper and writes all by himself.
Belonging to a writers' group, above and
beyond the constructive criticism and brainstorming
sessions, gives you people to talk to about
your work, this precious commodity that you
have created, nurtured, and hopefully someday
will send off into the world to entertain
and enlighten other people.
Having "a second pair of eyes"
is a perfect way to see things that you missed,
hear things that you didn't know were there,
and point out things that aren't working.
And if you are in the right group, they will
see the good things in your "baby"
as well.
I originally belonged to a larger group of
writers. Their styles ranged from Science
Fiction to experimental to Women's Fiction
to Mystery. Good writing is good writing.
I can read anything and enjoy it if most
of the basic rules of English Grammar (and
Common Sense) are adhered to.
There in lies the rub. When a portion of
the group doesn't recognize the basic Parts
of Speech, proper syntax, and know how to
use Spell Check or even a dictionary…Houston,
we have a problem.
A few of us broke away from the herd and
started our own group. Two more writers joined
us and we have the group we have today. We
have watched each other grow, improve, learn,
and it has made us all better writers. We
learn from our own and each other's mistakes
and achievements.
But of all the things a group, any group
- sewing circles, car clubs, collectors'
groups - brings to their members, the best
thing is it gives you a place where people
who are doing the same thing you are doing
can come and talk about their dreams, their
learning experiences, their frustrations,
and their successes. It lets you know you
aren't really alone in this wonderful world
of writing.